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I guess this topic might be a little awkward… But I will try my best to make it not so awkward. But I feel that this is a good subject to talk about since a lot of people struggle in keeping they’re relationships pure, especially the younger generation that doesn’t know a lot about purity, I know I didn’t.
What is love?
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
That is love. Paul gives a great definition of love. Sadly, our world today has a corrupt thinking on what true love really is. The first one he mentions is Patient. Is this true in your relationship? Are you patient? I’ve talked about this many times, but everything will happen in God’s timing, and sometimes that isn’t as fast as you would like it to be, but its His perfect will for your life at that time to wait. I know this is also a very good thing to have if you are in a long distance relationship. It takes patience and lots of prayer and quality time to make a long distance relationship work.
Maybe you’re in a long distance relationship?
Maybe you like someone but you’re afraid to tell that person?
Maybe you’re waiting for your ” Dream Boy” Or “Dream Girl” ?
Well, patience is a key in all those circumstances. Prayer is another key, have a time where you just go and have an encounter with the Father. I know that at Camp Yeshua they have a thing called “Encounter Time” and that was a fantastic thing to have! In camp there are lots of other distractions like hanging with friends and maybe a ” crush” or boyfriend or girlfriend. But the purpose of having an encounter time was to have you take a moment to sit down, think about what you’re doing and what you should be doing, and praying to your Father and asking for guidance and reading His word. It was just a great time of the day to step out of chaos and be still and know.
We should have encounter time everyday! Not just at Camp, Synagogue, Church. You should have it at home, in your car or wherever you can. Just sit down and turn off the T.V or whatever is distracting you, and spend time with your Heavenly Father, He deserves that and more, so give it to Him.
So, now lets talk about the “Awkward stuff.”
I think one way to have a pure relationship, whether it be kissing, or beyond that, is to have boundaries. I know, I know… Boundaries? I love him/her, how can I show my love if I can’t kiss my partner? Or whatever it is that you think showing love means. To tell you the truth, I don’t think that shows love, maybe kissing, but it depends on how much you’re kissing, or your intention of the kiss. Was it the right thing to do? Did you really show a deeper love to that person? Or was it based on lust? I know that I don’t want to be stuck in a relationship that’s just based on lust, I want it to actually be real. I know I want to love him for who he is and not on what I can get from him. And I do, I love someone! And I know our intentions aren’t based on lust or anything like that at all. Love is patient, so don’t push your partner into something that you know will cause you both to be in sexual sin when you know you could’ve walked away, when you know that God gave you an out. He always opens a door to get you out of a situation that can cause you to sin, but its your choice. Are you going to turn your back on sin? Or are you going to do it and then make excuses later? No, it was your choice, God gave you an out. Maybe you shouldn’t of been alone in that room with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe you should’ve listened to your parents when they told you not to go out alone. Maybe you really should’ve stayed with a group of friends that are there to look after you ( if they’re good friends) instead of going over somewhere alone.
You see the danger? Your hormones, teens, are raging. You, we, can’t help it. It is part of us and we can’t help feeling that way about the opposite sex. But does that mean we can’t control it? It all starts in your thoughts. And yes you CAN change your thoughts, so don’t look at a woman lustfully or a man. The Bible says that if you do then you already committed adultery in your heart, and that’s the same as actually doing it. So guard your eyes, your thoughts, and your heart. The Bible says that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, so be careful.
Psalm 119:9 says “How can the young keep his way pure? By living according to Your word.”
We have to study and meditate on His word and be in His presence daily! We need His word to guide us and point to the solution, which is Yeshua Messiah.
So staying pure in your relationship is going to be SO worth it in the end! I’ve mentioned this before but please read the book Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris! It is an amazing guide for a pure and God-centered relationship.
I know this is a long read but bear with me, I have a lot on my heart that I feel the Father wants me to share.
Just think, all those times where you fought through temptation and being patient with your partner, and then to just throw it all away because you just couldn’t wait anymore or you just couldn’t control your emotion… That is all a lie, you can control it! It goes back to your prayer life! Are you being diligent to seek the Father and getting a deeper relationship with Him or are you focusing only on your relationship with your special guy or special girl? Trust me, it is absolutely NOT wrong to spend time with that person whether it be through texting or phone calls or actually being able to go out. But it absolutely is WRONG if you put that person before God. Don’t you think He deserves a little more time than that person? I know it’s hard! I’ve been through it before. I remember in the beginning of my relationship, I came downstairs from my bed room and my dad was making lunch and I took a deep breath and said ” Dad?”
He responded ” Yeah?”
Then I said “How do you balance a relationship with a boy and God?”
I remember he just kinda laughed a little but got serious after that and said “God comes first no matter what, there is no balancing.” And I think he said some other stuff too, I just can’t remember. But those words stuck with me. “How do I truly put God first over someone that I really love?” I thought about these words everyday…
Do you ever feel the same way?
I now understand what it means to put Him first. Get up everyday with a thankful heart!And pray. Be sure to talk about scripture and your faith with your significant other, it will encourage them. And iron sharpens iron right? Yes! So sharpen each other, encourage each other, pray for each other, and challenge each other. Have a God centered relationship. It is extremely important to have Him as the center of EVERYTHING! Stay pure, and be patient. Just flash forward to your wedding day: with your special person that God designed the perfect personality, quirks, and many other things, to compliment yours! He knows the desires of your heart. So, if you were able to stay pure through the relationships that didn’t work out then you wouldn’t have any regret. You would walk to the altar with no regret knowing you saved it all for him/her. And it’s even better knowing that that person also saved it all for you. Be patient guys, we CAN and WILL fight through temptation, save yourself for your Husband/Wife.
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